The Talk
by Erin-Starlight
Summary: Before a female student can be admitted Prof X has to teach the boys about the facts of life. Original X-Men timeframe. Complete
1. Look what I found

Okay this is my attempt at a different kind of humor. The following contains some sexual innuendo but nothing nasty.

"I have decided to finally have Jean Grey join my X-Men." Professor Charles Xavier proclaimed. He had given this matter some serious thought for sometime and now seemed to be the right time. Jeans' powers had been too unstable to join before, her emotions still raw from her experience with friends' death. Then he had unexpectedly met one Robert Drake and his plans had shifted again. As the boy had Jeans' potential for great things with his powers, Charles knew then that he could only handle them separately. For awhile. Now he felt confident that he could give guidance to both youths.

 "Are ye certain Charles? What about the lads, are ye sure that they are ready?" Moria had asked over the phone. That was when his doubts began, though he couldn't understand why he was so concerned. What would be wrong with the boys knowing about Jean?

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Bobby Drake was not happy, not by a long shot. Shifting through old boxes to organize antiques was not his idea of fun. Not that it was meant to be as punishments rarely were. It seemed like Professor Xavier reserved the worse chores for him. The worse thing Scott had been forced to do was clean out the toilets. Not that he had ever done anything that would be deemed 'childish.' Still it didn't seem fair.

Dust flew into the air as he threw one empty box aside. He hastily covered his face with the bottom half of his shirt to avoid breathing it. All he needed was to have another coughing fit. Three hours of work and the boy had little to show for besides a couple of clean shelves. The attic had to have been cluttered for ages, perhaps longer than he had been alive. Cobwebs clung to every corner stretching over the ceiling reminding Bobby of a scene from an Indiana Jones movie. High above a single windows' light shone like a beacon though its light was faint because of the thick amount of dirt it had collected over the years.

 He could easily see this place as a relaxing hang out if someone took the time to clean it up. Though he had sneaky suspicious who that someone would be. Sighing he yanked another box off the pile in his haste to hurry up accidentally ripping it in the process. Another cloud of dust rose and he scrambled to move out of its path. He fell back narrowly missing landing on an intruder.

"It appears we have established our wayward frozen friends' whereabouts." Henry McCoy quipped helping the smaller boy to his feet.

"Yep, looks like." Warren Worthington mused taking in his friends' messy state. "You must have really pissed off the Prof this time twerp. What did you do trip Slim in practice again?"

"No…I sorta…" Bobby trailed off not wanting to give his friends the details.

 "I'm sorry, didn't quite catch that runt." Warren said settling himself down on one of the few places Bobby had managed to clean.

"I'll wager it had something to relate to a mishap with a prank intended of one of your beloved teammates." Hank chuckled adjusting his glasses as they began to slip off his nose.

"Most likely." Warren agreed. "So spill it icicle."

Bobby glared at the two of them and went back to work ignoring their demands. He started picking up the different books that had littered the floor after the box ripped. That is until two strong hands gripped his shoulder and pulled her backwards.

"HEY! What's the big deal you big ape?!" He hollered as Hank easily hung him over his shoulder.

"Oh dear, I'm getting the strangest feeling that young Mr. Drake does not desire our company."  Hank mused as Bobby feebly kicked him.

 "I feel so unwanted." Warren pouted, then smirked as the youngest boy struggled harder to break free. "Come on tell us already, you got a captive audience--"

"--Or rather we have a captive speaker." Quipped Hank.

"If you don't let go of me right now I'm going to give you both ice wedgies!"

"If you tell us we might help you sort this out."

 Warren gave his current partner in crime the dirtiest look he could manage earning him a soft chuckle in return. "It won't take that long if we all work together." Hank reasoned.

"But--"

"And one would assume none of us would mention this to our esteemed mentor or deputy leader. So if we would happen upon any articles of interest…"

 "Fine, fine, whatever. Not like I can do much with red in the shop anyway." The other boys groaned in unison. It had been two weeks since Warrens' treasured car 'red' had broken down. At the time, in his rage he had blamed Bobby for the malfunction. That was until he found out it had been his own fault when he had been joyriding. He had promised to make it up to his teammate for his snap judgment but he hadn't shut up about being stuck since. Hank looked at his young friend expectedly. Sighing Bobby mumbled something.

 "I beg your pardon?"

"What did you do?"

"I…sorta sent the Prof…flying…"

"What?!"

"How?"

"Well, I was practicing with my powers, and I didn't really have anywhere to do that inside--because Scott was in the Danger Room--and I had to do it near the mansion so I worked out by the pool…by the ramp--"

"The one the Professor uses?!"

"Well he hadn't been out there for like a month…"

"Did he get hurt?"

"No…," Bobby lowered his head and bit into his lip. "I softened the fall by…making a snow pile for him to land on." The other two X-Men hooted with laughter for sometime, to Bobbys' great irritation. Rolling his eyes he grabbed the pile of books and started to sort through them. Many of them appeared to be journals written by the Professor when he was traveling. Letters, and pictures of people he never saw and a couple he knew from pictures kept in the Profs' study. The familiar looking blond woman stood in one with her arm linked with a bearded man in what appeared to be her wedding. Not far behind stood alone boy who didn't seem to share the couples' happiness.

 As Bobby reached out to examine the boys' face another book, a heavier one hit the floor with a loud thud. The torn cover did nothing to reveal its contents.

"What have you got there, Bobby boy?" Hank called over his shoulder as he placed a couple heavy boxes into the corner.

 "Some book called…" Bobby squinted to read the title on the binding. "…Karma…Su…"

 Warrens' eyes widened and he rushed over with Hank to snatch the book. After a brief fight ensued Hank emerged victorious.

 "What's the big deal, it's just a book." Bobby commented naively completely oblivious to what the tome contained.

 "Uh…you…see…it's just…"

"It's yoga!" Hank lied.

 "…Uh sure, whatever you guys say."

Warren smirked. This was going to be interesting.

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Meanwhile two floors below Charles Xavier wondered if the boys were indeed ready for a female student.


	2. Misunderstandings

Many, many thanks to **Beaubier** for going out of the way to beta read this chapter. That was really cool of you. :

: Thank you: ) I use to update every couple of days but my teachers are really piling on the work. It all depends on how evil they are each week. I even have Saturday classes. :( : You will. I'm not sure how many chapters I will write but I'm guessing six in all. Unless I''m attacked by plot bunnies.: LOL! I thought the same thing when I wrote that. Without giving too much away let me just say that will be explained. Hopefully I can write more on my day off on Monday. Glad you liked it. 

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Scott Summers stared blankly out at the dull unappealing television show. He wasn't really a fan of reality shows like the others were. It just didn't make sense to him, at least the ones that weren't game shows per se.

The current one he had on at the moment had something to do with couples going off to a romantic island and then seeing if they could cheat on one another. It was pointless. Did they even win any money or did they just go off to make fools of themselves on TV for no reason?

He guessed the latter as none of the people seemed to have any sense in the first place.

Not that he knew much about relationships. He'd never really been on a date before. Dating would be too dangerous for someone like him.

Scott knew that, he knew all too well that it would likely never happen. That didn't mean that it didn't hurt. Or he wasn''t envious of his teammates. Both Hank and Warren had their share of dates before becoming students at Xavier's.

Hell even Bobby had had a date. Scott grimaced at the thought of Bobbys' one and only date. The poor kid would be lucky if he ever recovered from it.

Girls were just an alien topic to Scott. Warren and Hank had their talks from time to time, never thinking to ask him to join in.Though they never considered including Bobby either. Those two had been acting strangely since the Bobby/ice ramp accident.

They whispered to each other behind their hands and snickered for no apparent reason during class. Scott didn't know what it was but he was determined to find out.He just knew they were planning another prank war with their youngest teammate. Last time the staircase barely survived. When Scott had found it the left hand railing had been broken, covered in snow and feathers.

Passing Bobby's room carefully he noticed to his relief that the younger boy was quietly sitting on his bed flipping through a comic book. No trouble there, Scott thought pacing himself to check out the noise issuing from Warren'' room.

"You've had it for an entire day; surely you have finished……er……your analysis of the articles of interest?"

"I gave you fifty bucks to have this for a week Hank, and to keep you quiet." Warrens' irritated voice hissed back.

Scotts' mind wondered to what they could possibly be hiding, when it hit him. They had to be cheating for the upcoming exam. Hadn't they done so in the past?

"I recall differently my feathered friend. I believe you guaranteed to pay your dear comrade-in-

this-incident to let you have it for the day."

Scott's mind raced as he recalled the after school special he had seen earlier when he had had nothing better to do. But how would they get drugs? Inwardly rolling his eyes at his own stupidity he quickly shook off that idea.

They wouldn't do that, and not under the presence of the worlds' most powerful telepath that made them take physicals on a regular basis.

"Can I ask why you ever want it? Isn't this kind of thing beneath you?"

"It……is for ahem research purposes……" Hank trailed off and Scott could have sworn that the older mutant was currently blushing by his tone alone.

"Of really?" Warrens' voice sounded amused. "And what kind of ahem research could this help you with?"

Unable to help himself anymore Scott chose that moment to knock on the opened door. Hank fell backwards as Warren cursed as he fumbled to hide a……book?

"What's going on?"

"Nothing!" The duo answered trying and failing to look casual.

"What are you hiding?" Scott asked bluntly.

"Hiding?"

"We might as well confess Warren." Hank said with a dramatic sorrowful sigh. "He's onto us." Warren stared at his friend his face a mixture of shock and betrayal. "We are studying for an exam!" The largest mutant proclaimed in mock horror.

Scott cocked an eyebrow, clearly not buying it.

"Er……that is to say that Warren has purchased the results from me." Hank tried again.

Scott simply crossed his arms and waited patiently.

"Would you believe discussing fine art?"

"No."

Warren gave an annoyed grunt. "We were talking about sex, okay?" The winged mutant said flinging his arms in frustration, heedless of the tome still in his hands.

The deputy leader approached them. Whatever he was about to say died from his lips when the book slipped from Warren's grip and came crashing to the floor.

Unable to resist his curiosity Scott examined the open pages' contents.A puzzled look crossed his face for a moment before he asked his friends why the man was giving the woman the Heimlich maneuver in such an odd angle. A second later Scott Summers realized to his horror what he was looking at and unceremoniously dropped the book like the plague.

"Oh my…….!"Blushing furiously Scott rushed out of the bedroom.

"…………You know……he actually took that better than I thought he would..."

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Bobby was disturbed from his favorite comic by the noise coming from across the hall. Preparing to cause a little trouble he snuck out into the hallway, waiting for the right moment to spring into action.That moment never came as Scott, with a beet red face, passed by muttering, "--they're having sex--" under his breath.

Bobbys' face scrunched up as he tried to figure out what the other boy meant. The pieces snapped together soon and the boys' eye widen at an alarming rate.Glancing between the retreating figure and the door to Warrens' room Bobby gulped.

"Warren and Hank are……doing it?"

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Charles Xavier sighed as he went over Jean's transfer.

She was ready for this, he was certain of that. After years of training, taking the smallest of steps to ensure her recovery, she could finally deal with other people.She could have friends. Charles wasn't going to deny her the chance to feel acceptance at the school.

Deciding it was indeed time to make that all important call he reached over for the telephone……

/--theyweren'twearinganythinghavingsexohgodohgod--/

Wincing at Scotts' scattered thoughts he instantly returned the phone to its' cradle. He had hoped that he wouldn't need to have this type of talk with the young man.

Scott would be a gentleman, Charles knew this. Still, perhaps he needed to have a chat with the boy.

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Henry McCoy sighed as he returned to the library to catch up on some reading. He was not surprised that Scott acted the way he did; in fact he expected a similar reaction from Bobby. Not that they'd let the youngest boy get his hands on it. It was Warren and his secret……at least until Slim told the Professor. Assuming that he could do so without blushing that was.

Hank knew well why the book had such an appeal to them……well besides obvious reasons. It was their way of rebelling against the Professor. There was not much that they had managed to hide from the all knowing telepath, either when he reframed from reading their thoughts.

The book was a means to do so. It would be challenging but Hank felt they could keep this from their mentor. Reclining his feet to a comfortable position he let himself relax for the first time in days of rough training.

He decided to worry about how to keep the text a secret later. Now was his time to become reintroduced with the novels of Dickens, Keats, and Joyce. The real authors.

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A/N: In one of the Scott Lobdell issues (the one where Jubilee roller blades with the Prof) Hank brings up a time where Warren paid him a thousand dollars to write his essay. So I suppose they would have done it a couple of times. I don't know why but I love freaking Scott out. It's just fun. :D


	3. Educational Readings

Jess: Thanks: ) Sorry about the format. For some reason it's been messing up lately, though I have tried to fix it.

Anything but ordinary3: I just have to embarrass Scott, and your right it's fun. : ) I know schools' rough, I don't feel like working sometimes. Hopefully the teachers will give us both a break.

Rogue14 Thank you, and I will!

Special thanks to Beaubier for Beta reading this chapter

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The very thought of it was mind -boggling. It defied everything he thought he knew about his friends. If one of them had told him, he'd believe the whole thing was a joke. Yet there was no denying the truth, Scott wasn't that good an actor. Warren and Hank were……doing it. IT! Bobby wasn't even sure how that was possible.

He was a bit naïve to the specifics even when it came to girl/guy relationships. Bobby had taken the Home Life study class, but it was vague at best. He knew what it took to make a baby, but not exactly how one went about doing it. Not really. Well, except that he wasn't allowed to do it till he was legally able to drink. Preferably after he was married, which would make an awkward wedding night.

His father had had the infamous ''talk'' with him before he went to Xavier's. William Drake was usually a straightforward type of man, yet on the subject he had used many metaphors that Bobby couldn't follow. The most confusing having something to do with a car. All he remembered was that he needed to buckle up and obey his owners' manual. Or something like that. Or maybe

get a tune up, Bobby wasn't really certain.

Warren always seemed like such a playboy, even Entertainment Weekly had called him one. The guy had dozens of pictures of girls he went of dates with. He had even mentioned that a couple of them were great kissers. Bobby couldn't fathom how the guy could go from ogling those girls to dating Hank.

Hank had a girlfriend before the professor ''accidentally'' made her forget about him. Yet he held no grudges and accepted things as they were. Sure he and Warren hung out a lot, talking about things that Bobby was ''too young'' to hear. But he never believed that they were spending that time……doing it.

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"Are you positive that you don't want to talk about it, Scott? I'm always here to listen."

Scott nodded his head a little too vigorously. He did NOT want to tell the man he considered a second father what he had seen. It was far too……disturbing. He blushed again trying not to think about the image that was now seared into his mind's eye. Don't let him see that, he silently prayed to whatever deity was listening. It had taken a lot of work to earn his mentor's respect; he couldn't bear to lose it over……those pictures.

Scott sighed as the image came back.

"Yes sir, I'm fine."

"Alright, but remember I'm always here for you. Nothing you could say, no question that you ask can shock me." Giving a reassuring smile Xavier left to prepare the Danger Room, silently promising to bring up the subject later when the boy had relaxed.

Scott groaned, sinking further back into the sofa, desperately wanting to fall all the way through it. In less than ten minutes he was expected to train and all he could do was remember that awful page. Not to mention learning that his teammates were perverts.

Then a horrifying thought occurred to him. Did Hank and Warren show that book to Bobby? Scott had already fought tooth and nail to be a good role model for his younger friend and now those two were trying to corrupt him.

Where was a super villain when you needed one?

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"I haven't even had it for a whole week!" Warren raged, attempting to snatch back their sacred tome. Nothing good was on TV, he was stuck in the mansion, the professor had taken his cell phone and he just wanted something to look at. He was simply bored out of his mind.

"While I, your ever benign colleague in this modest escapade has yet to view the most renowned novel in our collective clutches." Hank said easily leaping out of the others' path in a graceful arc on the other side of the bedroom.

"What?" Warren had been too preoccupied to hear his friend.

"In other words: stop hogging it you over-grown Pigeon!" Hank instantly regretted his hasty words as an extremely ticked of Warren Worthington the Third tackled him. The two boy had fallen onto Hanks bed as the thinner youth tried to remove the book from it's current owner.

"Give to me now Hank!" Warren yelled as his knee accidentally made contact with the others' moresensitive area. Hollering in pain Hank rolled over to his side.

"OH! Warren--you--!!!" But words seemed to have failed the usually loquacious X-Man.

"Uh……I'll let you have it for awhile……" The other mutant mumbled as he sneaked out.

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Bobby was just trying to finish his math assignment. It hadn't taken long, and as far as most of the Prof's workload went it had been pretty easy. Well, it was easy when you excelled at math like he did. He was a smart kid; he had to be if he was in the same grade as the others, only he tended to leave things for the last moment. Organization was a skill both Scott and the Prof were always trying to stress to the youngest X-Man.

Just when he had arrived at the last problem a loud crash came from down the hall. Followed by what sounded like……bed springs?

"Give it to me now Hank!" Warren's unmistakable voice rang out. Bobby gasped. No, they wouldn't do-- but his thought was cut short by another exclaim.

"OH! Warren--you--!!!" Bobby quickly threw himself under his pillow and decided to wait until it was over before he resurfaced.

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Warren hurried downstairs before his prone partner in crime could come after him. He knew Hank would either get him back at some later date or write the incident off as an honest mistake. Hopefully Bobbys' influence wouldn't affect the decision too much. Though it was most likely a vain hope as both boys always inclined to agree with each others' judgment. Hank would weigh out the options, the practical side of things. Most of the time anyway, once Bobby joined in the elder X-Man usual dropped his sensible side.

Bobby was far more impulsive, living for the moment, which was actually a trait Warren shared. However the younger mutant usually acted up at odd periods, like when they were all training together. He claimed that it was impossible to take the super-hero biz seriously if you dressed in spandex. Or in his case a pair of boots and underwear. So he joked around, played pranks, and got into trouble. While Hank……well he didn't really keep the other in line but he was slowly adding some maturity to him. Very slowly……when he wasn't adding to the problem.

Accepting his impending doom Warren sat down in the living room. Checking to make sure no one else was present he sneaked a peek at the piece of paper crumbled in his hand. In his hand was a page taken from the book that had been ripped out in his haste to escape. Smirking at his own unintended genius he flattened the sheet on the table. Once he smoothed the creases however, his jaw clenched. Letting out an annoyed grunt he scanned the page again, confirming

that he had in fact tore out a picture less leaf.

Rather a text filled one.

"Warren" Xavier's "voice" asked. The said person jumped at being addressed while he was reading……certain details.

"Uh……yes sir?" He choked fumbling around with the paper until he finally tucked in into the nearest book on the coffee table.

"I will expect you to be in uniform and downstairs in ten minutes." Professor Xavier proclaimed then ended the telepathic connection. Warren half sighed and half groaned as he made his way back upstairs to change.

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Training in the Danger Room had not gone as he planned. The boys were far too distracted. Their team work was seriously lacking, making Charles wonder if the boys had a fight recently. Cyclops would try to keep his focus but end up snapping at Angel and Beast. Usually when one of the lads attempted to horse around with Iceman.

Once he even got choked up on his words when Angel commented about the last time he saw "Slims'" face that red. Beast had followed Angel around claiming he owed his comrade payback. Iceman was especially quiet during the whole incident, following his orders and reframing from cracking a joke. They had pasted their test but the strange atmosphere had not lifted after the session had ended.

"Now that our grueling task has ended I suggest a trek to Greenwich Village, or perchance Harry's establishment!" Hank proclaimed releasing the headlock he had Warren in.

"I don't think so." Scott replied coldly. Shrugging off the answer Hank threw a companionable arm around their youngest teammate.

"Very well then, I am certain young Robert L. Drake will not find issue with such a voyage to our hearty little dives." The bulkier boy stated giving Bobby a tight one armed hug.

"You mean you wanna go out with me?" The genuine surprise in his companion caught Hank off-guard causing him to frown. They had been friends for awhile, not too long but enough to know one anothers' behavior. Normally the youth would be joking around with him trying to untangle himself from the other. Now he was so……quiet, even a bit reserved. No, this will not

do at all, Hank thought.

"Of course, why wouldn't I want to hang around with my favorite popsicle?" He gave one of his trademark broad grins, delighting in the fact that he had just earned himself a hopeful smile in return.

"Really? You mean you won't rather go alone with Warren?" Bobby asked meekly. Hank frowned again. He wasn't sure what was wrong with his little buddy but he didn't like it. Had he gave the other reason to doubt their friendship? He had been spending a lot of time with the Warren but he never realized it was hurting his friend this much. Though he complained almost as much as Warren about his pal's impish nature Hank wouldn't change it for the world. It was one of the many traits about Bobby that made him so endearing.

"Are you two quarreling?"

"No, I just thought you two won't have time to spend with anyone else……uh……that is……" Bobby paused as if to choose his words carefully then gathering his courage he stared up into his best friends' eyes. "You and Warren have been pretty close lately and……I…I know why that is." He stated bluntly and his friend blanched.

"I'm not saying I think there's anything wrong with it……" Bobby hurried. "……I just wish you two would have thought to tell me about it." He stated trying and failing to hide the hurt in his voice.

Hank for his part was taken aback by his fellow mutant's statement. He knew? How? Not that it really mattered. He never expected his friend to take the news like this. To be shocked? Yes. To be curious? Maybe. To feel hurt for being left out? It had never occurred to him. Warren stood next to them, a great deal away from Scott who was still speaking to their mentor.

"Tell you about it? You're just a kid!" Warren remarked a bit harshly. "Besides Slim would kill us……"

"He's really that much against it?"

"He said it was distasteful." Warren stated with a tiny smirk. "So you have no problem with this?"

"Well I guess it's a little weird but I don't think it's that bad."

Against his better judgment an idea popped into Hank's mind and out his mouth before he could stop it. "Would you like to see it?" Bobby paled.

"See……it?"

"Well I guess you could." Warren grunted then smirked. "It would be nice to have someone else on our side."

"On your……side?"

"So would you like to try it out later today?" The smaller boy shook his head heartily.

"Uh Bobby……are you alright?"

"He's not saying anything Hank……"

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	4. I am Not the Pervert!

**Anything but ordinary3**:Well, things are about to get a little more confusing. This chapter deals a little bit with what Charles thinks of the boys' behavior. As for Bobby getting the Professor to talk to the guys, well he will be having a chat with them later on.

**demiducky25**:Thanks! I haven't finished freaking poor Slim out. Yeah I know there's a whole lot of misunderstanding right now but that's part of the fun in writing this.

**Killjoy**:Glad you liked it.

**HealerAriel**:LOL, yeah I realized that the thought of Xavier having Karma Sutra is disturbing but it will be explained. I'm not sure if you'll find the answer any less disturbing but hopefully it will make sense. I think I'm warping Scotts' mind, but hey it's fun. : ) Poor Bobby is the only X-Man out of the loop.

And many thanks to Beaubier for beta reading this for me!

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**Chapter 4: I am Not the Pervert!**

Only one last class before dinner: English. Scott would be glad when this day was over. It was worse than the time Bobby had accidentally froze--then shattered his clothes during a Danger Room session. The only saving grace was the fact that this had happened before Warren and Hank had arrived. Still, he would be mature about this and keep his youngest teammate from having his mind warped.

"Not that it's any of your business, Summers." He reprimanded himself. Scott knew that but he couldn't help feeling so protective of Bobby. Even if he _had _inadvertently revealed Scotts' 'tighty whiteys' to the Professor.

Shaking off the last thought, he picked up his misplaced textbook and went off to class. Nothing seemed amiss when he entered-- other than Hank and Warren's whispering, of course. They both greeted him cheerfully which he only acknowledged with a curt nod, letting them both know he was still in a mood. Bobby arrived shortly afterwards and almost dropped his belongings when Hank asked him to sit between Warren and himself.

"Come on kiddo, we always make a good team. I'm sure even you could learn a thing or two from me." Warren said confidently. The younger boy paled.

"Maybe he doesn't want to learn what you want to teach him." Scott remarked.

"And maybe you should mind your own business, Slim." Warren shot back, not really mad but annoyed all the same.

"This team is my business, mister, and I say leave him alone." The winged mutant snorted at this.

"You'll still mad about--"

"I don't want you showing off that--" Scott couldn't bring himself to mention the title, "—thing!" Bobby's eyes widened at that, much to his confusion. "I don't care what you two do but I don't want it all over the school!"

"'All over the school?' There're only the four of us--"

"Well I don't want to walk in on that in the library again--"

At this point Bobby glanced back and forth frantically before he managed to sputter, "Where in the library?!"

"Really Scott I believe you are over-reacting to this—" Hank interjected.

"Was it on the desk I sit at?!" Bobby blurted out.

"--No harm is coming of it." Hank ignored his younger friends' outburst and tried to be the voice of reason.

But the dutiful leader would have none of it. "It's already throwing off your training, it's distracting, and all you two seem to do is fight."

"It's not as bad as you make it appear. And if you are worried about--certain parties getting involved I can assure you that will not happen." Hank had tactfully managed to get to the root of Scott's outrage without getting Bobby upset for being treated as the 'kid.' It was a rare talent that the others his age seemed to lack.

"Good, because we can do without it."

The next moment the Professor came into the room, and all arguments died from their minds. English was almost over when each student was asked to read from a section of Hamlet from their books. When Scott's turn came he frowned at the page. It had obviously been ripped out. and crumpled before being placed back into the book Had someone damaged his book? He wasn't sure if it was off color or if it was just the way the light hit it. Being able to only see in one color didn't help him.

Still he began to read in a loud, clear voice, only half paying attention to what he read. Behind him one of his friends gasped, another snickered and Hank uttered something about 'stars and garters.' It wasn't until he got to a certain line that he realized what he had just read. Blushing furiously he crumbled up the loose sheet and turned around to glare (even though they couldn't tell) at the others.

_Of all their stupid jokes…_

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"That was a--very enlightening reading Scott. May I have a word with you after you dinner? After you finished with the dishes?"

"Yes, sir."

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The kitchen was deadly quiet when Charles entered. The cook had the week off so he had charged each of the boys with different kitchen duties. Hank had already begun setting the table balancing the plates precariously from his feet as he walked on his hands. Usually he didn't mind the young man practicing his abilities but now it just seemed…unhygienic. Casting a disapproving glance he wheeled himself into his place at the head of the table.

"Henry, isn't it Warren's turn to cook?"

"That is correct, Professor."

"Then where is he? Hasn't he prepared the meal yet?" Charles asked, barely containing his exasperation.

"He's waiting for it to arrive, sir. He ordered it awhile ago." Hank replied joyfully seemly unaffected by his teachers' demeanor.

"Why can't he cook one meal?" Charles mumbled to himself. Breakfast was frozen waffles, lunch was Scotts' leftovers and now we have take out. Couldn't he attempt to make the effort?

Hank had wisely decided to remain silent. He had just reached for the silverware when the Professor quirked an eyebrow.

"Henry?"

"Yes Professor?"

"Use your hands please."

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If nothing else, dinner was an interesting affair. Warren had ordered some spicy food that Bobby wasn't quite certain if he liked. Even a snowman could get burned by some of that stuff. Much to his surprise, the Professor didn't seem to mind the food, he actually seemed to be used to it. Still he cast his third X-Man a disapproving glance for ordering take out.

"Didn't they say spicy food was supposed to be good for something though? Like the heart or…?" Warren inquired motioning to his pile of food. The oldest X-Man was about to reply when Xavier laughed.

"Hardly, but it is known to be an aphrodisiac." Xavier retorted dryly. Bobby choked on his meal, even with his limited knowledge of the 'facts of life' he knew what that meant. Not to mention that it had been his teacher to say it. Not that Charles Xavier had ever been hesitant to correct a student but still…

Warren looked thoughtful for a split second before he attacked his meal again with new vigor. Beside him Hank chuckled and whispered out of their teacher's earshot. "Are you trying to tell us something Warren?"

Said mutant could hardly respond with his mouth full, but settled on a mild glare. Bobby tried not to stare, he really did, yet he couldn't help himself. It was really too much information for him. Not only were two of his teammates…doing it…they were talking about it in front of them! Were they still trying to get him involved?

"Has the proverbial cat got your tongue?"

"You better not be trying anything, icebox."

Bobby frowned. "What?"

"You're staring." Hank clarified.

"Oh, I guess my mind was somewhere else." He almost missed the quick exchange between the others. Hank shot Warren a concerned look. Warren rolled his eyes as Scott's body language took on a more combative form and Xavier gave a great sigh obvious wanting nothing to do with another adolescent clash.

Bobby was about to finish his meal (struggling to forget that his friends were sexually harassing him) when someone's foot rubbed against his calf. Much to his horror he could not stop himself from gasping in shock. The whole table glanced at their youngest member before Scott cleared his throat. "Um…sorry about that, my foot slipped."

For the briefest and most fleeting of moments Bobby wondered if all his classmates were homosexual before he laughed out loud at the absurd thought. Once again this drew the attention of the others.

"…Uh, no prob, Slim."

Once dinner had concluded it was up to Bobby and Scott to clean up but the other two X-Men hung back for company. Bobby was bantering with Hank about Shakespeare's work on Hamlet when the other mutants bickered out of their earshot until their voiced rose.

"Look it was an honest mistake; I didn't put it there on purpose! I know your upset but you should have known what you were reading--" Warren snapped.

"Gentlemen please, I'm sure this can be settled."

"If we didn't have this perversion in the house Hank--" Scott shot back.

"Hey don't talk about them like that!"

"Well it's true Bobby, we'd all be better off without it! Now the Professor probably thinks I'm some kind of s-sex crazed manic." Scott grumbled indignantly.

"You're not?" The smaller boy inquired innocently.

"Of course not! Those two are the ones with the problem! They can't get by one day without gawking at--"

"Scott--" Hank tried valiantly to get his teammates' attention.

"--that filth--"

"--trying to corrupt--"

"--Sco--"

"--Bobby with this trash!"

"Uh Scotty?" All three boys nervously indicated over the others' shoulder. Slowly, almost comically, their leader turn about to confront a very grim faced Professor Xavier.

"I believe the five of us of a lot to discuss, don't you agree?"

Next Chapter: Xavier tries to make sense out of what's been happening. Wish him luck.


	5. For the last time it’s Not Yoga!

**demiducky25 :** lol! You're right about that, poor Charles. The man has to deal with four aggravated and/or confused teenage boys.

**adeline** Thank you! Yes, Bobby is rather out of the loop. Don't worry though all of it will come out in the open in this chapter. Jean? I like her but I don't think she will be in this, and if I do find room for her the appearance will be brief.

**The Scribe3:** I think maybe I watched too many sitcoms because eavesdropping is always the cause of these kinds of misunderstandings. I'm glad you like the boys. I think one of the reasons I like Scott is because he was so anal, especially compared to the others.

**phoenix83ad:** I find it funny that my Scott tormenting has been so well received by readers. _Sadly_ he is not the sole object of that embarrassment in this chapter as many of the characters will share that honor. ;) LOL! Your review made me laugh because I have considered having these events be the source of the guys problems with women. As for the Karma Sutra, it will be explained. It won't be some minding bending plot device, but it will (hopefully) make sense.

**Roquetshipper** Thanks for letting me know how you feel about my story! I'm afraid I don't have too much to write after this, only one or maybe two chapters. But I do have an idea for a sequel of sorts. Poor sweet Bobby is in for more confusion.

**Chapter 5: For the last time it's Not Yoga!**

After overhearing his X-Men arguing, Charles Xavier took the four of them to his office. Hank internally winced as he saw the grim countenance of the man. The loquacious X-Man would freely admit the situation was amusing--if it wasn't for the fact that he was counted among those in trouble. Their teacher was strict at the best of times, handing out demerits for speaking out of turn and such. What if he found out about Warren and his treasured literature?

_Well perhaps Bobby will freeze hell over and the Professor will forgive the transgression_, he thought gloomily.

Like his comrades, Hank shifted uneasily in his seat while waiting for the interrogation to start. Several minutes passed without a single word being uttered. As time went on the shamed-faced boys glanced at each other trying to understand what was happening. The oldest of the young mutants felt certain that he at least understood Xavier's logic. By staying silent he was putting them on edge, making the boys worry about what was to come. Perhaps one of them would fear what the others would say and blurt something out in an attempt to save themselves. If this theory was true then it went to prove that one did not need to use telepathy to play mind games.

Hank pondered this train of thought, intrigued by the concept if nothing else. Would one of them betray the others in fear of punishment? He knew that most would think that such a person would be Scott. Yes he was stiff, and always did his best to please his mentor. Still Hank knew the dutiful leader drew the line at snitching about the others. Maybe it was out of a simple desire to fit in, or some other reason that Hank had yet to consider that Scott never told on them. If he had been telling on them, after all, then the others would be in trouble more often. The professor's plan might have worked if they were other students, but they weren't typical students by any means. That, added to the fact that the four were headstrong teenagers, who were embarrassed did not help his cause. Nor did the unsuspected sense of loyalty seem to have been factored in beforehand. After quite a long succession of silent moments Xavier's patience, it seemed, had run out.

"All of you have been acting oddly and I want to know why. While your devotion to each other is admirable, it is misplaced. I assure you that I will find out what's been going on." Still none of the teenagers answered their teacher. "Scott?"

"Y-yes sir?" The lanky teammate leader stopped slouching and sat up straighter.

"You suggested that Warren and Henry were behaving in what you deemed to be perverted in nature. Is that correct?" The youth made no reply. "Is it?" Xavier pressed.

Knowing that he could not lie to the man nor discredit what he had heard Scott reluctantly replied. "Yes sir." He answered with an apologetic note in his voice. Not only for his teacher but also for his teammates, hoping they would understand.

"You also stated that what you read in class did not belong to you. Is that true?"

"Yes."

"What do you have to say for yourselves?" Xavier asked Warren and Hank.

"I think that Slim was overreacting." Warren remarked earning him a sharp glare from Scott, though no one could actually see it.

"And I object to the term 'perverted.'" Hank injected.

"How about lewd?" Scott mumbled under his breath.

"Actually I was thinking more along the lines of charismatic; and suave titian."

"You would see it that way." Scott shot back.

"Leave them alone!" Bobby finally spoke up glaring daggers at the other.

"Thanks Bobby." Warren said trying to contain his victorious smirk.

"They can't help being that way!" The youngest cried.

"Excuse me?" Hank asked.

Bobby, realizing how it came out hasty tried to salvage the situation. "Uh not that there's anything wrong with it…or that you're perverted or anything." He replied lamely. His curiosity piqued and eager to learn more Xavier remained silent to allow the boys to settle this matter themselves. The conversation, however, had became too perplexing for him to comprehend.

"Stay out of this Bobby, this doesn't concern you." Scott ordered moving so that he was visibly blocking him from the other two.

"How can you just sit there and criticize them for something they can't help?"

"Can't help? I'm not some dog--!" Warren huffed but Hank snorted at this.

"Well they should, they're not animals they should be able to control their…urges." The lanky boy all but whispered the last part. Hank found this entertaining; Warren on the other hand seemed to dislike the idea of the team talking at length about his hormones.

"That's none of your business, Slim!" The smallest youth announced.

"Right!" Warren readily agreed.

"What they do on their off time is up to them!"

"Thank you." Hank said gratefully.

"It's not up to you to decide what's right for them!" Bobby went on gathering stream.

"Exactly!" The two mutants in question said in union.

"If Warren and Hank want to have sex it's entirely up to them!"

"Rig--" The two mutants stared in bewilderment at their teammate. Scott's mouth dropped and he gave his friends a double take. Professor Xavier on the other hand seemed unprepared for such a thing. After an uneasy hush had settled over the office it was Scott who finally broke it.

"Y-y-you're practicing it?!" He exclaimed. Hank, still in a state of shock made no attempt to speak. Warren, however, had quickly recovered.

"We are not practicing it!" The winged mutant stated firmly.

"That's why you've been doing so bad in training." Scott whispered almost to himself.

"We have not--what do you mean by that?! I've been doing fine!" Warren snapped.

"You've been distracted. You must have been worried about Hank--"

"I don't give a damn about him!" Noticing Hank's look Warren gave him a sheepish grin. "Uh, sorry man."

A slow almost sinister smile graced Hank's face for the briefest of moments and Warren knew he was in for it. The older mutant's face took on the most heartbreaking of looks as he stared wide eyed at the other. "You mean that our time together meant nothing to you? Oh, the cruel fate that must partake in such affairs!"

"You are so dead, big feet." Warren hissed.

"You promised that you'd never use that endearment out of the bedroom!" Hank cried in a woe begotten tone. This comment caused the other three viewers to shift in their seats uncomfortably, hoping that no more personal information would be forthcoming.

"Can't you be serious? This isn't the right time for--!"

"That's not what you said yesterday, my most beloved Angel." Hank murmured sweetly. At this point Xavier chose to try to have them stay focused.

"Warren, have you and Henry been practicing safe sex?" The question was asked compassionately yet the parties involved all (save an amused Hank) flinched at it. Scott blushed and suddenly found his shoes absolutely fascinating. Bobby made a startled 'eep' before he promptly covered his ears and started humming. Stumbling over his words in his rage, Warren finally was able to utter something that made sense.

"Wha--NO!"

"You should be taking proper precautions. Even if Henry is your only partner." Xavier told them, his voice laced with disappointment for their lack of precaution. He regarded the boys solemnly, not noticing the oldest was shaking with repressed laughter.

"I am not having sex with him." Warren stated firmly. He was perfectly composed, as an heir to the Worthington fortune should be. Most would have not doubted his word, and even the others gathered in the room had begun believe him. That was until Hank started shaking so hard he appeared to be crying, indeed tears were beginning to fall. Then what ever illusion of truthfulness he had was quickly shattered.

"I can understand how hard this is for you Warren, but don't you see how much this is hurting Henry? You may not see it at the moment but you're hurting yourself too." Xavier said handing out a box of tissues.

"I'm not the repressed one, that's Scott!" Despite attempting to block out all sound, Bobby caught this part and snickered while Scott cried out in indignation. The professor considered this for a moment before he turned to his duty leader. This 'chat' of theirs was not just about Warren and Hank after all.

"Why do you have problems with their relationship Scott?" Being unprepared for another verbal ambush Scott visibly squirmed.

"I…wasn't aware of it before, sir."

"You were calling them 'perverted' earlier." Xavier reminded him, at the same time Bobby blurted out, "But you saw them doing it!"

This time his interruption was met with an uproar of denial, outrage and more hushed laughter from Hank. "Why do you have to start this crap Bobby?!" Warren snapped.

The smaller boy frowned. "I wasn't trying to make trouble."

"Well you did it anyway by making this up." Warren knew he sounded pissy but his mood was souring by the moment. After that long day he wasn't in the mood for another stupid prank.

"I didn't make it up, Scott said that he saw you doing it!" Bobby exclaimed earnestly.

"You have been watching them?" It wasn't often that Charles Xavier was at a loss of words. He was known to be a man who freely and passionately expressed his views, and tried to encourage others to do the same. Though at the moment he wasn't sure what to think about these events. Other than hiring professional psychiatrist of course. Still he'd imagine even Freud would be at a loss.

"I never--I didn't!" Scott sputtered gesturing wildly. Next to him, Warren's scowl finally gave way. Well he wouldn't let Hank have all the fun. Sometimes Summers made things all to easy.

"You've been yelling about us being sick and now you're…interested in it?" The winged mutant mock sighed. "I never realized you were so closeted, Slim."

"Don't judge him to harshly dearest birdbrain." The massive youth murmured throwing his arm over his 'boyfriend.' "How could he resist my charms? You certainly didn't?"

"I am not attracted to you Hank!" The lanky teen cried.

"Deee--nial." Hank whispered in a sing-song voice.

"I think he means he likes me better." Warren retorted pompously. Teasing Cyclops was so easy to do, and very rewarding.

"I DO NOT!" Scott yelled. "And I don't care if you're both gay I just don't want you doing it and trying to get Bobby involved!" He had meant the Sutra book, but it had come out the wrong way. Damn them for making him lose his cool.

"So you two were trying to do**_ it_**with me!" Bobby cried.

"What?" Hank tried to recall what they had done to make the other think that but came up empty.

"Damn it Warren, leave the kid alone!" Scott snapped protectively.

"I didn't--HEY! Why am I the pervert here?!"

"It's just the way of life Angel; it's like asking why the sky is blue." Though he could give them a lecture about the occurrence but Hank was trying to keep the humor.

"Just back off Worthington."

"I'd have to agree with Scott, lad. Bobby does not seem interested in your advances. You should respect his wishes. I will not allow sexual harassment in this school." Xavier then took out a bottle of Tylenol, for he felt the first beginnings of a headache coming on.

"I AM NOT TRYING TO MOLEST BOBBY!" Warren cried in outrage. Yes, the headache was definitely affecting Xavier heavily.

"It's not like he had much to look forward to if he was interested at any rate." The blonde's 'lover' grinned cheekily.

"Now that is below the belt!" The Worthington pride was never something to trifle with. If it was not for their mentor butting in again another fight would have broken out. Almost comically Xavier, rubbed his aching head and motioned for silence.

"Let me be certain that I properly understand this. Warren and Henry are dating, and sexually active. Warren denies this, as well as Scott and Bobby's claim that he's attempting to pressure Bobby for sex." Halting the half formed protest with a dismissive wave of his hand Xavier continued. "Scott is trying to stop this but also has an intense dislike of the homosexual relationship despite his interest to watch it. Is this correct?" Silently, he prayed that it was not. Luckily God was still on speaking terms with him.

"No it's not sir, I believe Bobby misunderstood what has been happening. I was merely pulling my teammates' chains by saying it was true. I see know how serious this is, so I will drop this deception. Scott is not a closeted case, nor is he homophobic. He merely felt a brotherly protectiveness for Bobby and did his best to defend his innocent nature." Hank explained much to his friends' relief. It didn't matter anymore if they landed in detention as long as they all knew the truth. "Warren and I had a book we were looking at that was…eh…educational material."

"Pornographic in nature?" Their teacher asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, sir." The two boys mumbled in union.

"Hand it over please." Hank reached into his backpack a handed the book over to Xavier. Unfortunately, not before Bobby recognized it.

"Hey that's the book I found!"

"I'm disappointed in you Robert. This type of item is banned from the school, and you know that. I'm afraid I'll have to call your parents." The telepath reached for the receiver as the teen exclaimed: "But it's just a Yoga book!"

--------------------------------------------------------------

Next Chapter: Much to our heroes horror Xavier gives them the dreaded sex talk. Will they make it through the lesson? Or will Charles scar them for life? Stay turned for chapter 6, 'Where little Mutants come from'.

A/N: Next Chapter will talk about terms that have to do with sex, so just to be safe the rating will go up to R. And unless it goes into a seventh chapter I will finally explain the K. S. book.


	6. Where little Mutants come From

**liliput83** Thank you. In regards to your concerns about the rating, I will not be graphic in this story. I wanted to be safe with the rating though but for now it will remain PG-13. There is some sexual innuendo and terms like Penis, etc. It's really not that bad. I'll change it if you guys think I should.

**demiducky25** You will see in this chapter what's up with the book. I never meant for it to be some huge plot point of anything, so I'm sorry if the answer disappoints you. I did have something of a hint in the first chapter about it's origins though.

Hank was starting to see that some misunderstanding was a foot when Bobby was freaking out over him and Warren. I didn't think that tunnel-vision Summers or Warren would pick up on it. Yes, teasing Scott is fun for me and the boys. A good bonding experience don't you think?

**phoenix83ad** Thanks, writing the guys hollering at each other during that scene was something I had been looking forward to writing for awhile. I was thinking about having Jean in this but it didn't work. I do have plans for early X-Men tales with Ms. Grey dealing with her all male teammates. Poor girl. The talk it's self isn't going to be in here. I am not certain how it would be rated so to keep this PG-13 I mainly deal with the other issues in the class. Well you'll see what I mean. I have to agree with you on the cheating Scott front. That was so wrong it. Another reason I stick to early years I guess. He was less of a jerk.

Special thanks to **Beaubier** for beta-ing this and my friends TM&TP who helped inspire this.

**Chapter 6: Where little Mutants come From **

Realization was not always a wondrous thing. In this case it was disturbing. Very disturbing. To think that Charles Xavier had not even considered it beforehand only showed how short sighted he had been. He had only thought about his own dream of a peaceful co-existence between man and mutant. Factoring in four hormonally driven teens and the affect one girl could have on them didn't seem that important. Now it had him very concerned about whether or not the boys could handle a female teammate.

Charles wasn't worried about Jean herself, he knew she would be fine, but then again...it would affect their training. Teenagers were prone to distractions, and even though these students were highly gifted they still liked to show off. And if Jean was attracted to one of them jealously could tear the unit apart. Sex was still something that had to be discussed. That needed to be discussed, whether he liked it or not.

Bobby at least seemed to be naive. Not only did he have no idea what the Karma Sutra book contained but he did not seem to understand the basics. When asked if he knew what an orgasm was he asked if it was "that Japanese paper folding art?" As Charles was already going to have a conversation with Scott, he figured he might as well have it with all his X-Men. Ally Taschen, an old friend of his, worked as a teacher of sex education and had promised to give him the tools he needed to teach the boys. She had offered to speak herself but Charles had turned her down. He was certain he knew how to get the right message across.

Scott was not happy- far from it, actually. He hadn't slept a wink that night in fear of the upcoming lesson. Hearing about sex from the professor was bad enough but having his teammates there? Well it would be awkward…

_You can do this Summers, just get a grip. _

Taking a deep breath the young man walked into the room with his head held high. For about five seconds. "Good lord..."

Posters about pregnant teens and sexually transmitted diseases were draped over the normally blank walls. On the board two diagrams of male and female parts that made his face flush. It was going to be a long day.

"First one here Scotty? Well someone's eager." Warren chuckled, taking the seat to Scott's left.

"The professor said he wanted us here by twelve." Scott pointed out, to which his friend merely shrugged. "Aren't you…nervous?"

The blond boy threw him a good-natured grin that lacked the smugness of his usual smirk. "Why should I be nervous? I've been through these things before. I know what goes where. I was tested on my knowledge of this stuff in class, it's no big deal."

Noticing the crestfallen look on Scott's face, the winged mutant's expression softened. "Hey, it'll be okay. Sure, it will be weird to have the Prof talking about this stuff, but at least we'll all be embarrassed together."

Scott's frown deepened making it clear that he was not reassured.

"It'll be something we can laugh about later." Warren explained.

Scott sighed and turned away, knowing his friend would never understand. How could he? Angel was a good looking, rich guy with a much more glamorous (not to mention safer) mutation. Everyone at the mansion knew Warren would (if he wasn't already) have a better chance to be intimate with someone. Cyclops was a freak in comparison- at least that was how he saw it. He rarely went out with the others, tending to sit alone in his room and brood. Not something most women looked for in a man. Or as Bobby had phrased it, "kinda uni-bomber like."

"My, my Warry, cheating on me already?" Hank joked, choosing the spot behind Scott.

"I like the strong silent types." Warren quipped, grinning as he saw a dazed Bobby scan the posters. "See anything of interest?"

Bobby opened his month to retort, but thought better of it.

"Come on, frosty, sit behind my lovebird so you can keep us from ravaging each other." Hank purred melodramatically.

"Okay, it was dumb, I get it! Will you shut up about it already?" Bobby groaned.

"And forget that you thought that we were a hot and heavy coupleme being hot and Hank being heavythat tried to seduce you? Not likely." Warren replied.

"Though it was an unusual experience to be the hottest buzz in the school since Angel flew into a window" Hank remarked earning him a punch on the shoulder from Warren.

It was then that the professor made his presence known. Wheeling himself to the front of the class he began the lesson. It was a lengthly piece about how parts A and B worked. He explained how working together these parts could create a baby. All in all it was as if Xavier had been reading out a text book instead of speaking about a human experience. The only time anyone spoke out of turn during his lecture was when Bobby cried out, "You put what in where!"

Next was the movies with the first entitled "Who's your Daddy?" in which a teenage boy discovers that his ex-girlfriend is going to have his child. Halfway through he abandoned her to date his new girlfriend. The X-Men had watched in silence with an amazing amount of maturity for boys their age until the Tom character met his date.

"Wait a second, he just got Terry pregnant and now he's trying to…er…get together with this new girl?" Scott asked, unsure if he was understanding the tape correctly.

"Yep, and I bet you he doesn't have protection." Warren muttered.

"Protection?" Bobby asked.

"We'll get to that later, Robert." Xavier remarked. "Just watch the video."

"That Tom is a cad!" Hank cried.

"Why would he be so selfish and want the money he earned to go for a new stereo set when his familythe baby, needs it more?" Bobby, for the life of him, couldn't understand the character at all. His father had always told him that a man's place was with his family. To be providing and protecting for them. But the young man on the film couldn't cope with his ex-girlfriend's plight. He wasn't even trying to, which the youngest mutant found very disturbing.

"Don't you get it? It's supposed to show us that fatherhood is hard and that men in general are evil."

"I think you're stretching the point, Angel." Hank replied.

After that they viewed a film about the effects of drinking and drugs had on the unborn children (with the said children being animated over the women's wombs.) There were of course some complaints, the first being that none of the students present would be carrying babies. One of the lesser ones being that a cartoon about pregnancy was demeaning to their intelligence. Neither argument convinced the professor to forget about the film. And finally the last tape was played, which unfortunately was the birthing section.

"That's suppose to be beautiful!"

"Eww…"

"What do you mean by 'C section'-oh geez!"

"My eyes!"

"That concludes the 'miracle of life' part of our lesson." Charles calmly clicked off the television and turned on the slide projector. "Now we will begin our section on Sexually Transmitted Diseases."

This statement was meant with a collective groan from his audience, but he ignored it. He gave a detailed account of the S.T.D.s flicking through the slides, carefully noting how his students were absorbing this information. They squirmed at the start, clearly not enjoying the sight of the infected areas of the male regions.

His deputy leader soon sat rigidly, his face lacking any color with his mouth tightly clamped shut. Though uncomfortable, Hank seemed to take a clinical interest in the viewing taking in all the facts they were given. Warren on the other hand appeared to be bored, as if he was merely going through the motions. The youngest X-Man's face scrunched up at each slide, sometimes glancing away when the sight before him was too much to bear.

"Now, are there any question you boys have?" Their professor asked- only to be met meant with silence. "Alright, I understand that this is rather embarrassing for you lads. I'll get the ball rolling by reading off one of the queries other teenagers have asked."

He reached into the shoebox Ally Taschen had given him with her classes' questions. She had assured him that they where the normal things that teenagers asked her all the time. With any luck it would put his X-Men to ease.

"Let's see...ah here we are." Charles pulled out a crumpled scrap of paper and read it out aloud. " 'If you have a sperm in your hand will it bite you?' "

They stared at him. Finally Hank, unable to stand it from a scientific view point spoke out. "That's absurd! A sperm doesn't even have teeth!"

"And why would you even have one in your hand?" Bobby asked.

"Think about it Junior." Warren resounded dryly.

"Excuse me if I rather not." Scott groaned.

"Yes, well, getting back to the matter at hand" Warren and Hank tried and failed to contain their snickers. "Would you two gentlemen please treat this with some maturity? I will not ask you again." Charles waited patiently for them to comply.

"Sorry sir."

"Won't happen again."

"Very well. Now are there any real questions?" Charles asked. Hank gave a thoughtful look before responding: "Is it true that mutants can't get A.I.D.S.?"

Their mentor stared at him in astonished, unprepared for such a question. How did any of his class even hear about that? Charles had believed that he alone was their only link to the mutant community. Obviously he was wrong. "May I ask where you heard that?"

"On the Internet, sir. There's a site with rumors about mutants." Well, that explained that. "Some were true, others were clearly false. Which is this, sir?" Hank asked.

Sighing, Charles took a sip of water. For some reason his throat felt unbearably dry. "That study is still in progress, Henry. In the case studies that were taken so farwhich are limitedthe results were good. Just keep in mind that even if mutants are immune to A.I.D.S. other diseases could still affect us. Any thing else?"

The professor reached for a box near his desk. "Now that we have completed that I want to make sure you gentlemen have paid attention. That you will be able to prevent yourselves from getting such diseases or unwanted pregnancies."

To punctuate this he grabbed two items from the box and placed them onto his desk. Two models, a penis and a vagina at that, landed with a thud that seem to echo throughout the room. Not noticing the stunned expressions on his student's faces he dumped the rest on the contents next to the models. "Now I want to make sure all of you know how to put on a condom."

Shock rippled across Scott's face, Hank and Warren exchanged confused looks while Bobby groaned into his hands. "No volunteers? Fine. Scott?"

"Y-yes?" The youth slumped forward in defeat as Xavier beckoned him towards the front of the room. He wanted to die

"Go get 'im, stud." Warren whispered as he passed.

And he wanted to take them with him.

"Thank you, Scott. Now pick a condom." He grabbed the first thing he spotted his shaking hands already ripping it the package open in his haste.

"Not like that son, you could tear it apart as wellalso that is not a condom, it's a diaphragm." Charles corrected.

Hank stifled his laughter at his friend's flushed face. Scott found the right item and carefully removed it from the packing. Unfortunately he was in such a rush to get it over with that the condom broke when he placed it on the model.

"With it ripped you have just become a father, Scott." Charles said marking down the grade into a notepad.

"I call godfather!" Bobby chimed in.

"Then I call namesake!" Hank added.

"Just tell me if you know who the mother is." Warren chuckled as Scott's mouth tightened into a fine line. After he sat down, their young leader hide his scarlet face with his arms tangled tightly about his head.

"That's enough. Now would you come up Warren?"

With a slight shrug the said mutant bounded up to the front of the room, picking from the pile of condoms. Charles raised an eyebrow at this and felt he should mention the warning he was given about the products before them. "Just so you lads understand all of these protective items are far past their expiration date."

The blond boy gave him a brief perplexed glance before looking back at his peer almost to say, "why is he saying this to me?" With the unwrapped condom in hand, Warren pulled it easily over the glass penis without even the slightest hint of discomfort. Satisfied that his work had been done right he turned back to his teacher.

"That'servery good." Clearing his throat Charles marked down the grade. "Robert."

The youngest came forward without fear. At least on the surface- what did appear was a look of intense concentration. Charles was glad that his pupil had decided to take this lesson seriously. Though he soon discovered that Bobby was taking it too seriously. Minutes passed with Bobby still going through the many condoms without picking one to use.

"Robert, is there a problem?"

"Well..."The boy's brow furrowed before he meet his gaze steadily. "Which one do I use? There are so many..."

"All of them work fine."

Bobby didn't seem as sure. "But they all do different things. This one says something about it being what women like"

"Robert"

"And this one says it's flavored. Why would it be flavored if your going to put it on your?"

"ROBERT!" Charles bellowed, halting any further inappropriate queries. The teen, the picture of innocence, seemed truly puzzled. However the Professor felt the lad was likely to be playing around, while he truly understood the situation. Barely containing his irritation, he silenced the others with a look. Maybe he should have taken Ally's offer to teach in his stead...

Grinning sheepishly, Bobby put the condom on the model in a fashion very similar to Warren. Though there was one noticeable difference. "It's on too far; I'll have to mark you down for thatHenry."

Hank did not have an easy time with it, his nervousness combined with his large hands equaled trouble. The latex was torn in the end resulting in another low marking in Xavier's notepad.

"That concludes our class I" Charles glanced up, only to catch the boys rushing toward the exit.

_I wonder if I should have had them take care of the egg-babies..._ He mused. Chuckling, he returned to cleaning up the mess left behind in their wake. Taking great care not to break anything, he'd begun to clear off his desk when he realized he was not alone. One student still sat at his desk, making no effort to move. "Robert? What's the matter lad?"

Bobby hesitated before lifting his head up. "It's just that it's not what I expected. I...I just thought that it wouldn't be sooo...mechanical."

The man gave him a sad smile as he scanned the boy's mind, skimming the surface. It was both endearing and disheartening that the boy held such high hopes of what love and sex should entail. Disheartening perhaps because Charles knew that the two did not always walk hand in hand, and feared that the youth might find that out the hard way. "I do tend to drone on, I suppose that I can make anything seem dull if I try."

They shared a smile, one of the few they would have in that stage of their student/teacher relationship.

"Sex is not like that though. It's suppose to be about the feelings you and your partner have for each other. There should be love in the equation."

"Should be? You mean it's not always there." Bobby frowned as the thought dawned on him.

"Unfortunately, you will find that not everyone is looking for the love of their life. It happens all the time whether male or female, human or mutant." Charles felt the disappointment etched across the boys' mind. Strange as it was his pupil held some romantic notions at his tender age. "Love, real love, Bobby, is a treasure that should not be taken lightly. It's filled with its own struggles and pains. Having to accept one another for being who you are."

Bobby bit his lip as the memory of his date running off screaming in horror came back. Doubts ran across his mind, unknowingly reminding Charles of his own failure with women. He couldn't tell his student that his lot in life would be any easier. The truth was that neither of them knew.

"I will not lie to you Bobby, your life will be a hard one." _Harder than you know_. "But there are people in this world who will accept you."

"I know that." Bobby said standing up. "That's why I'm here. That's why I'm an X-Man."

_They still manage to surprise me._ Charles mused as saw his pupil's retreating form exit the room. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the Karma Sutra book in the tangle of products he had just tossed carelessly into the waste basket. Once the tome was in his grasp, he flipped to the very first page, glad the class had not thought about questioning its origins or why Bobby was not being punished. How else could he explain about his step-brother or his 'interest.'

_Property of Cain Marko, Hands off! That means you Charlie! _

Charles sincerely hoped that they had seen the last of his step-brothers' items.

Up in the attic, hours later, Warren and Hank worked diligently to make the space livable again. They were overheated and tired, yet they carried on. It was either that, or being banned from their free time for the next two months. Staying locked in the mansion that long was a fate worse than death to the teenagers. Scott had visited to check on the progress, but he never stayed long. Not with the teasing he would endure for his reaction when ever sex was brought up. The tatic had served the other two well, as it kept their leader out of their hair for some time.

"How's it going Hank?" The blond inquired.

"I am drenched in sweat which makes the dust cling to mechoking my very breath! To answer your query absolutely delightful!" A terse reply came making Warren flinch with it's sharpness. "Forgive me Warren, I'm just exhausted."

"Yeah. I" Warren slipped, kicking up dust as he toppled onto one of the crumbled boxes.

"Are you alright!" Kneeing beside his fallen teammate his eyes bulged as he took in what the other youth was using to push himself up with.

"Yeah, I'll bewhat?" Following Hanks' gaze he noted the plastic bag he was gripping. "Holy shis that what I think it is!"

"If you believe it to be a substance that is to be smoked meaning that it is a hallucinogen? Then yes, I'd wager that is a correct assumption."

**The End**

Just to clarify some points that might be confusing:

**Did Warren have sex at that age?** I have left this open to interpretation in the story. This is hinted at a bit, a few people called him a playboy. I don't think that he was at that age because he was trying to hide the fact that he was a mutant. Some friends of mine were referred to as 'playboys/girls' because they flirt a lot. At this stage this is how I see Warren, dating and flirting but not going as far as having sex.

**What was with sperm question?** This is an actual question that my own teacher read aloud to let us know that there is such a thing as stupid questions. It always stuck me as such a odd thing to ask.

I have a sequel in mind to follow this up. I'm not sure if you guys would be interested in a story dealing with pot so let me know what you think. Cheers!


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